I’ve been completely out of my element since the day I arrived in India a little under a week ago and I’ve been wandering the streets of New Delhi like a toddler lost in a shopping mall. I’ve been staring at all the pretty lights, putting strange foods in my mouth, completely at the mercy of kind strangers, collecting a variety of new illnesses, abjectly lost the entire time, and generally just trying not to die. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to catch up with an old friend from college, Kanika, who was in town visiting family and friends in New Delhi. The timing couldn’t have worked out any better and thanks to her, I learned the ropes of how to get around India, saw the dynamics of an Indian family, and got to finally up with an old friend who I hadn’t seen in years!
Kanika’s family is originally from New Delhi, but I met her back in college while at UT, through a mutual friend, Sweta, who I studied abroad with in Milan. While good friends in college, once we graduated, Kanika ventured out to El Paso, Texas for medical school. I’ve been to El Paso once before, but it is a relatively small city located in the middle of nowhere at the westernmost corner of Texas. Since I lived in NYC, I sadly thought I’d never see Kanika again. Thankfully she eventually did make a trip up to visit Sweta, Andrei, and me in NYC, but never in my life did I think one day in the future our paths would cross in New Delhi, India of all places!
The joys of travel!
Since Kanika was familiar with the city, she knew all of the highlights and was confident that we could see it all in one day. I was a little incredulous, but once I found out how cheap it was to hire a driver for the day, the two of us flew through the main attractions in New Delhi. Within hours we were able to see Qutub Minar, the largest minaret in India; India Gate, India’s answer to the Arc de Triomphe; the Raj-Ghat Memorial to Gandhi; the Red Fort; and the Rashtrapati Bhavan among other things. I haven’t traveled at such a break-neck pace since my days back in Jerusalem with my friend Ron, but my favorite part of the day was our trip to the Akshardham temple complex outside of town.
Akshardham is an enormous Swaminarayan temple complex dedicated to displaying and fostering Indian culture, Hindu religion, and traditional architecture. So far on my travels I’ve only seen the old dilapidate ruins of elaborate religious buildings. Nearly all of them are falling apart, completely destroyed, or in the process of renovation, but Akshardham is the type of temple I imagined many of these old buildings looked like in their heyday. The temple itself rivals that of the Sheikh Zayed Mosque in Abu Dhabi, UAE when it comes to over-the-top ornate embellishments and intricate carvings, but what I found most interesting is how Akshardham is a strange blend between Hindu temple and Disneyland. You first arrive in a giant parking lot and are corralled into enormous barricaded lines to check your electronics (no cameras allowed unless you pay extra), go through security and buy your tickets. Entrance to the temple is free, but they have a surprising variety of smaller “adventures” like the giant audio-visual water show, thematic gardens, large format films, the Hall of Values museum, and even a cultural boat ride that, from the pictures, looked eerily similar to the It’s a Small World ride at the Magic Kingdom in Orlando, Florida.
Jokes aside, the attention to detail for every single building in the Akshardham complex is astounding, every square inch of the place is covered in some sort of decoration. By far, the coolest aspect of the visit was the fact that Kanika, her brother Rahat, and grandmother Karuna came along. Kanika was invaluable when it came to explaining and translating everything around me, her brother provided the comedic relief, and her grandmother’s intense religious dedication/knowledge fascinated me. Sadly, I am terribly ignorant when it comes to Hinduism and I know very little about the pantheon on gods - much less the elaborate interactions between then. As an outsider, the system seems just as convoluted as the Greek and Roman religious systems, but I never learned anything about the Hindu system aside from the two most popular gods, Shiva and Ganesh. I am forever indebted to Kanika for providing me with a crash course on the Hindu gods as we wandered through the main temple in Akshardham.
Over the next several days, I was tremendously fortunate to spend time with Kanika and her family during part of their visit in New Delhi. They were kind enough to welcome me into their home, provide some amazing meals courtesy of their domestic worker Vijay, introduce me to their friends in town, educate me in all thing India related, and provide a unique insight into Indian family life. For Kanika’s family, I’m sure it was just “business as usual,” but I was endlessly fascinated by the similarities and difference between their family dynamic and mine own. The highlight of my time with Kanika’s family, however, was when they invited me to tag along for their trip to Kalkaji Mandir temple.
Kalkaji Mandir is located in the central part of New Delhi and is one of the oldest, most revered temples in all of India. Dedicated to the goddess Kalka (or Kali) it is believed that a blessing at this holy shrine leads to the fulfillment of one’s desires. Kalkaji Mandir is widely visited by the local Hindu population and is a tremendously important temple to Kanika’s family. The area surrounding the temple is teeming with activity, smells, and noises as hoards of devotees pass along the uneven walkways in front of vendors selling various offerings for the idol inside. Kanika’s mother and grandmother purchased some offerings before we took off our shoes and entered the claustrophobic temple.
Kalkaji Mandir was packed full of people chanting, giving their offerings, and praying in the cramped space. While Kanika gave me a brief overview of the importance of the temple, I honestly did not fully understand the significance of Kalkaji Mandir to her family. The moment we stepped into the temple, Kanika’s grandmother, swelling up with joy, began to cry. Apparently she prayed at this very temple for Kanika to graduate from medical and become successful in life. After all these years, she was so happy to finally return with Kankia at her side to give thanks for fulfilling her wish. Very rarely in life do I see such intense emotional moments like the one I saw at Kalkaji Mandir that afternoon, but the entire room was filled with people in a similar state of affairs.
The closest reaction like this I think was back in Istanbul at the Hagia Sofia, but it was hardly a religious moment.
Since I was the awkward white guy who didn’t know what the hell was going on, I made sure to stay out of the way so I didn't interrupt anyone. As I stood in back listening to the group chat, I had flashbacks to St. George’s Cathedral in Lviv, Ukraine; Kalkaji Mandir temple was not just another tourist attraction, it was being used. As I stood savoring the atmosphere of the temple, I could not bring myself to take even a single picture inside. This was a tremendously intimate religious moment that I got to be a part of; such an experience is impossible to capture in a picture anyway so I’ll just carry the memory with me. On the way out I received a little red bracelet indicating I’d visited Kalkaji Mandir and refuse to take it off since it reminds me of this moment.
I can happily say that I am still wearing it seven months later.
I can’t thank Kanika and her family enough for their warm hospitality and excellent company. While it was probably just a usual, run-of-the-mill family visit to India, I can’t thank you all enough for allowing me to tag along and experience a unique side of New Delhi.
Thank you all so much!